Don’t
be fooled by this very arrogant title.
Obviously this will not be scientific article on parallel universes or
quantum mechanics for that matter. And I
will drag it down many roads until we get to those titles. But those will be necessary roads according
to my opinion. You may read the whole
blog as a joke, as a story or you can read each article separately as you wish.
1-
Incubus (Sleep paralysis)
I have
had the incubus incidents since I was a kid.
My mom and sister always knew that they should wake me up when I start
making weird noises in my sleep. The
incident shortly is; you think you are awake but you are not. So you try to move or say something but you
cannot. I was kind of afraid of this subject so although I love to research
vetting I am curious of I never dogged into this matter.
I woke
up in the middle of the night. I looked
around and actually saw the room I was sleeping in. I could hear the TV if it
was on, see other people moving a bit slower than usual. And in addition to
this I would see some other things, sometimes unusual objects, beings of some
kind. The surrounding would be a little cloudy or blur. When I decided to try to get up I wouldn't be
able to. So at that moment my view would
change as well. I would realize I wasn't
awake and start to get confused. I tried
to wake up instead of looking around and wondering. This would repeat itself for a few times and
finally I would wake up disoriented and worried. I would be scared that it would happen again
so I wouldn't go to sleep right away.
And right before I would fall asleep again this biggest fear of mine
would wonder around my mind...
After
years of this I kind of got used to it.
I found out that it is a common thing.
At least I wasn’t alone. They
told it different though, they said a heavy being would choke them. But that was probably only because of
traditional stories told and how it got into people’s minds. Nothing was really choking you.
Other
than the incubus incidents I did of course make little experiments with sleep,
like astral projection for example. I
did succeed one night after trying for a long time. I made my body go to sleep and my mind was
still awake. So I slowly rose from the
bed and started ascending. It was a very
familiar feeling, as if I had done it before. This time it was more
conscious. After ascending a little I
looked forward and saw the white ceiling in front of me. I looked to my left and saw a book on the top
shelf. This thought just made me so
afraid, realizing I was actually out of my body I fall back down into it.
This
way I realized that dreaming was just an unconscious type of astral projection.
This
experience is still not my illumination about incubus. After a while my life got so complicated that
I forgot about astral projection, it was even hard for me to meditate.
Time
passed, incubus didn't.
My
ideas about dreams changed, my ideas about parallel universe and quantum theory
were formed, changed... I used to look at all life through a spiritual point of
view. The thought that everything had a
little particle of god in it turned into a Higgs particle.
When I
was young my grandmother would pray to god and make me pray too. No matter how hard I prayed nothing
changed. In time I found the idea of
reincarnation and cosmic consciousness.
Then it all was sucked in by a black hole. I woke up one morning as an atheist. After that moment spiritualism was no longer
the search for god but for me. Something
though, did not lose their meanings in this process but just changed in a
way. Dreams weren't astral projection
experiences but interaction with parallel universes for me. Dejavu was not from
past lives, but from parallel lives. The
things I would see half-awake were no other beings just inter parallel
travelers like me.
In time
incubus occurred less frequent. But all
of a sudden they started happening 3-4 times a month. So I finally decided to research on this
matter and found out that it was a simple sleep paralysis. It was simply just a sleep disorder that had
been called with many names in different culture and always associated with
demons and so on.
When
you cannot get goodnight sleeps, or are disturbed by something, although your
body is sleepy your mind somehow wakes up. Sleep paralysis is the crisis in
between. Sleeping or awake?
I do
have the feeling of a dream going on during the day sometimes. I do have a confusion of reality
sometimes. Am I dreaming or am I awake?
During
my last sleep paralysis episode I tried to be more reasonable. I was aware that I was still sleeping. I
tried to turn on the light near me I couldn't. I had a rubber band around my
arm from the dream before so when I felt the rubber band I knew I was
definitely sleeping. I tried to wake up
a few times but when I realized I couldn't I decide to use it to my
advantage. I began ascending from my
bed. Slowly went through the closed door
and outside to the corridor. I didn't
stop there and went outside my main door.
When I felt the breeze outside and saw a dark endless night in front of
me, I got scared again. And quickly went back to my body. Then I woke up, for real....
